“How is the couple’s therapy going”?
I stared curiously, scrunching my forehead wrinkles, as I tried to understand the question. Was my contractor asking if my husband and I were in couples therapy? That’s an intrusive question, I thought. Then it dawned on me, he was confused about my new career choice. Him and every other person I had told. I’d already encountered numerous remarks such as “YOU’RE doing couples counseling?” and “you are going to talk people into getting divorced?”. I shook my head no, again.
OOOHHH. No, I do not do couples anything. I work with people who are going through the divorce process or have already completed it. Sometimes they have never been married and are going through a serious breakup. I specialize in co-parenting and moving past the bitterness that often accompanies divorce. My certification classes describe us as “thinking partners” that help you make decisions that benefit you best, and are based on reality and not anger. I know how important that is, and I can see how valuable that would have been for me during my own divorce.
This year my youngest turned 19. We celebrated him finishing high school and moving into a full-time career as a welder. In addition to that, I reached a new place in life where for the first time in 22 years I don’t have a child in school. To date, I have been co-parenting for 28 years. That seems impossible, but it’s true. I’ve co-parented with two fathers, two step-mothers, numerous grandparents, and every combination of co-parenting arrangements there are. The majority of my co-parenting was two 50/50 arrangements, to which I am a huge supporter. In fact, I am currently writing my dissertation on this exact arrangement. Having raised two kids who are now grown men, I am curious about its effectiveness from their viewpoint.
But why me?
I’ve overcome an enormous amount to be where I am. I had my first son just 7 weeks after turning 16. I was married (not to his father) at 22 and separated just shy of 4 years later. We had welcomed our son (my 2nd) not quite two years before that. By the time I was 26 I was a divorcee and single mom with two kids. My divorce was high-conflict, my fault, and one of the hardest things I have ever been through. Much like having a baby in my teens I lost friends, had to start over, and struggled to figure out where I fit in this world and with just how I could reconcile my actual life with the one I dreamed of.
I’ll save you the details for now but let’s just say, I figured it out. It took a lot of tears, a lot of failures, and a very long time. If I had a coach, I could have saved a lot of those. And that’s why I am here. To make the line from broken and bitter to hopeful and happy as short as possible for my clients.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at leslie@lesliehopecoaching.com. Please join our mailing list for discounts and updates! www.lesliehopecoaching.com
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