#TheDivorceBestie
It’s heartbreaking. And they aren’t even my kids. In fact, I don’t even know them.
My coaching clients are usually fighting for their kids. They have had guardian ad litem’s involved, CPS contacted, and almost always have had the most innocent of parenting situations blown out of proportion and threatened to be used against them to keep the kids away. They are dealing with parental alienation, lies, and smear campaigns by their exes designed to break them and create guttural reactions that will magnify their exes’ case that they just are not good enough parents.
There are pictures of that one-time Dad let his kid hold a beer because it was funny (not drink it, hold it). That one time, a Dad let his kids ride electric scooters when they were “too young”. A speeding ticket with the kids in the car. The most common, of course, is always when one of the parents starts dating or is accused of cheating.
Getting through breakups is hard enough without the government, lawyers, and kids involved. When you stir all that drama in, you are in for one hell of a year. Sometimes it feels like it’s something new every day. My ex used to just call and yell at me because he heard I was at a concert or a local restaurant. We were separated, and I was free to do what I wanted, but he just wanted me to know he had eyes on me or that people were talking. I could have cared less if he knew what I was doing but the constant accusations and threats wore me down.
My best friend and her husband split up three months after me and mine. You might think that would have made it easier, but it was twice as hard. There just was never enough time to catch up on all that was happening and just be there for the other one. I left my husband, so I was entering into a situation I chose; she wasn’t so lucky and was heartbroken. The things I celebrated (living alone!) were the things that upset her the most. We got through it, but it was hard. Even my parents, who ALWAYS have my back, got tired of the drama.
I divorced in 2005, which meant we didn’t fight on social media, but we also didn’t really have options outside of our local area. I had a therapist (of course!), but an hour a week didn’t always cut it. Sometimes it felt like I was worse when I left there.
With all of that in mind I worked with a team of people to determine what it is that I would have needed to have made my divorce transition easier. What would have helped me get from leaving to getting my name back? What kind of support did I need, and how/who could have given it to me?
And just like that, The Divorce Bestie was born. The Divorce Bestie is a membership program that gives you access to a divorce coach, a private Facebook page to commiserate with others who are in the same shoes, discounts for online courses and one-on-one coaching, and more. It is not designed to take the place of your best friend but to be your go-to when you need to vent, cry, strategize, and work towards surviving.
My goal, as your divorce bestie, is to offer a more affordable option that is less of a time commitment than full one-on-one coaching. It’s to gather my clients in one place to help each other. It’s to provide the support you need when you need it.
What you can expect to take away:
- You are not alone on this journey.
- You can communicate in a way that will help and not hurt you.
- This is all temporary, and your actions now can have a long-standing effect on your life after divorce.
If you or someone you know (please forward this email!) is struggling through a divorce, please visit our website to get the support you need.
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