I took a small break from my business to deal with some medical issues and regroup for 2023. I meant for that break to last two weeks, but here we are, a month later, finally returning to the real world. I’ve done a lot of reflecting and planning, but also a lot of mindless things like watching movies, reading books, and coloring my beloved adult coloring books. To be honest, it was both more difficult and less difficult to zone out than I thought it would be. I typically am not good at full-on relaxing for more than a day or two, and then I become flooded with I have to get out of here thoughts. I have to go somewhere and do something, or it feels like my insanity may begin to boil over. This time that didn’t happen. I enjoyed the not doing.
In my not doing, I discovered a part of me that I had no idea existed. I found immense gratitude in being taken care of (doctors’ orders), and I actually let my husband do all the stuff I would normally have just done for myself because, god forbid, I have to ask for help. To his credit, he didn’t complain once and seemed genuinely happy to do it. But this person who just accepts help, without the feeling of guilt, without overwhelming disappointment in myself, she’s new. And my god, she was so relaxed! The pain pills helped, I am sure. But I realized in these transformational few weeks that I wanted more of this.
I want more guilt-free existence.
I want more, not punishing myself for not being self-sufficient.
I want more real relaxation.
I gave my mind and body a real break for probably the first time since I was a child. Sure, I have taken vacations, but I have never disconnected like this on vacation. For one, up until a year ago, every vacation included getting as drunk as possible. Was it fun? Yes. Relaxing? Not really. My main form of the hangover is anxiety, so I would return home feeling way worse than when I left. I’ve been on solo trips, but they were usually designed to help me make a big decision or to focus on my grief/regret/disappointment and never included the peace of mind I just found.
So, what was different? For one, I notified anyone who might need me that I would be unavailable for two weeks. I set my “out of office,” and I didn’t look at my email. Even though I could have, even though I was just lying on my couch, even though it was my habit to do so. I cut off all notifications on my phone, so I had no idea what was coming in. I just let it go. I told my assistant not to call me about anything unless it was a dire emergency that could not wait another second.
I canceled every meeting, webinar, workout, doctor’s appointment, everything. There is something insanely beautiful about seeing two completely free weeks on your calendar. Nothing. There was the freedom to do it all and the plan to do nothing.
The most important part was my decision not to spend my time thinking about any of the major things I had going on. I was just going to recover and do whatever I needed to do to make myself completely unavailable, mentally, to any stress. That was the hardest part.
Now I know I had a medical procedure and needed to recover, and it’s hard to argue with that. And here in America, taking two weeks consecutively is unheard of. But I want you to ask yourself, when was the last time you took a whole day? Isn’t that what those personal days are for? Just like your body needs a rest after working out, your brain needs a rest too. A day to think of nothing. A day with no email, no ringing phone, nothing.
What would you do with your day?
If you are going through a separation and divorce, you need and deserve that day more than almost anyone. It will make you mentally stronger and more prepared for what is to come. It’s so important. Sign up for our mailing list for tips on how to survive and thrive through a divorce, rebuild your future, and sometimes just to find recommended movies and music to get you through.
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